


Competent Insubordination

by Tren



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-17 21:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20627837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tren/pseuds/Tren
Summary: Olivier Mira Armstrong is asked to help with investigation by Riza Hawkeye. As they work together Olivier discovers that maybe, just maybe, she hates her as much as she hates Mustang.





	Competent Insubordination

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fencesit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencesit/gifts).

> Big thanks to Karios for beta.

Olivier Mira Armstrong disliked being in Central City.

It was too warm and too crowded. The cozy streets of the capital were too easy to live in.

She also hated having to deal with arrogant idiots who were too busy planning a conspiracy that would ruin their nation to even realize they were nothing but pawns.

Which was why even though it had clearly been a mistake, Olivier gave _her_ the time of day.

“So you want me to go on a wild goose chase after some idiot who has been dismembering our soldiers for the past two weeks? I didn’t think that Führer’s personal secretary had so much free time,” she summarized, feeling rather unimpressed with the proposition Hawkeye had given her.

“I personally requested to participate in the subjugation of the responsible party. Führer was kind enough to grant my request, but on the condition that I get the cooperation of a superior officer,” Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye explained succinctly. 

Olivier almost rolled her eyes. It was obvious what was going on. Bradley wanted someone to keep an eye on Hawkeye while she investigated, so that she couldn’t use this opportunity to communicate with Mustang.

Superior Officer, my ass. She was looking for a babysitter.

Olivier was very tempted to just throw the impertinent lieutenant out the door. Unfortunately, even if she hated all the strings attached to it, Olivier actually liked the idea of indulging in some proper criminal investigation. Central was dreadfully boring—all it had to offer were conspiracies, and military dicks who Olivier had to be nice to for the time being. It would be a good excuse to skip at least one meeting, and if she played her cards right, she might even get to dismember the criminal.

In necessary self-defense, of course.

“Fine, I will talk with Führer about it.”

*

“I thought you would agree,” Bradley admitted with a smile that didn’t reach his one eye.

“Am I that transparent?” Olivier asked with a feigned sigh.

“Why yes, both you and Lieutenant Hawkeye seem to need some time in the streets. To get some fresh air and stretch your legs.”

Olivier almost wanted to laugh. The only fresh air she approved of was so cold it threatened to freeze one's lungs from the inside. But it would be a waste of time to try and explain that sentiment.

“I can’t argue with that, sitting back while my subordinates do all the work isn’t how I like to do things. And this will at least let me pass time before the Promised Day.”

Bradley nodded. “I don’t think I need to explain to you what I expect.”

“Don’t worry, I will make sure your aide won’t have time for any personal business while she investigates,” Olivier assured him with a cruel smile.

She meant it. After all, if Lieutenant Hawkeye’s attempts to contact anyone would be clumsy enough for Olivier to notice, then they wouldn’t be enough to fool Bradley and his people. It would be better to just crush those attempts outright, so that they wouldn’t endanger the plan.

“I’m glad you understand. Have fun catching the criminal. It sounds like an entertaining case,” Bradley admitted. The light wistfulness in his voice didn’t seem to be faked.

Perhaps, despite being a homunculus, he too wished to get a break from the boring routine of Central.

*

“Here is the report with all the information on the case. I also had analysts use all the information we have to predict where the next attack may occur.”

Olivier flipped through the documents she had been given and noticed there were two maps with a circle representing the predicted area of attack. Except one had a much smaller diameter than the other.

“Why are there two maps?” she asked coldly.

Lieutenant Hawkeye didn’t even flinch at the blatant hostility directed at her.

“While the people who had initially compiled the data believed that all the incidents were caused by the same person, I discovered this is not the case. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the first incident was different from the ones that followed it. During the first attack, the culprit seemed to only want to cut off the victim’s right hand. After that he let the victim escape and didn’t pursue him. However, in all the subsequent cases the culprit had been attempting to murder his victims first and foremost. The dismemberment was just a means to that end. This leads me to believe that there are two different men involved. Which was why I asked the analysts for a second map that excludes the first incident. I believe that by focusing our attention on the smaller perimeter we will be able to apprehend the culprit more swiftly with our limited manpower.” 

All this just from looking at the documentation? Olivier felt impressed despite herself, but also disgruntled.

It was annoying just how competent Mustang’s dog was. Sure, she had to be to make up for her owners' sheer incompetence, but it still stung that Mustang somehow managed to get the loyalty of a person almost as competent as Miles. 

But only almost. He was still way better than her.

“Since you dragged me into this investigation, I expect you have some sort of idea how to catch the culprit,” Olivier said. Surely, Lieutenant Hawkeye wasn’t just planning to waste time on this.

“Of course, I already planned several stakeouts so we can catch the culprit red-handed,” Hawkeye replied with a perfectly flat tone, as she handed Olivier a detailed timetable. It sure didn’t look like a short-term project.

Actually, it made perfect sense that Hawkeye wanted to drag out the investigation so she wouldn’t have to return to serving Bradley right away. Olivier couldn’t exactly blame her for not wanting to spend more time around the homunculus than strictly necessary. Not that that knowledge made being dragged into this any less annoying for Olivier.

“If you don’t want to personally take part in stakeouts, you don’t need to, Major General Armstrong. I have already assigned shifts to everyone in the unit. Give us a few days and we will bring you results,” Hawkeye assured her in a serious tone.

Was this how Mustang had managed to get his position as a colonel? Just left everything to his lieutenant and waited for her to bring him back expected results like an obedient dog? Honestly if that was the case, Lieutenant Hawkeye should have outranked him a long time ago.

Or was she actually stupid underneath her supposed competence? Any sane human with this level of skill would have already abandoned that idiot Mustang and found a better person to serve. 

Still, Olivier couldn’t just agree to this. 

“No, I will personally oversee this operation from beginning to end,” she announced. “I won’t let some criminal hurt more of our men.”

“I see, then we will have to either reassign some people or have you join me, since I was planning to handle shifts at my post alone,” Hawkeye said, as she looked at her timetable.

That seemed to be too much of a coincidence. Had the lieutenant already planned ahead knowing that Olivier would want to take part in the operation? It wouldn’t be difficult to foresee that. However, if that was the case, it was strange how she didn’t oppose this. If she really did plan to relay info to Mustang, it would certainly be an inconvenience to have Olivier, of all people, close to her.

Unless, she wanted them to come into contact? But that didn’t make much sense. Their planned counterattack against Bradley and his forces would only work if, for all intents and purposes, they remained unconnected.

Plus, Hawkeye should know quite well how much the two of them didn’t get along.

Not that it mattered, Olivier would never run from a challenge. If Mustang’s dog thought she could outsmart her, she was in for a surprise.

“There’s no point in wasting time on reassigning tasks, I will work with you,” Olivier said. She then drew her sword and pointed it at Hawkeye. The blade stopped just short of her chest.

Several other soldiers who were present gasped at that, clearly unused to how things worked at Briggs.

“Just don’t try anything stupid,” Olivier threatened, but annoyingly Lieutenant Hawkeye didn’t seem to react to having a sword pointed at her. She remained perfectly still even in the face of the threat, looking straight ahead with no sign of fear in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, Major General Armstrong. I always do things smartly,” she assured.

Olivier clicked her tongue and withdrew her sword. Lieutenant Hawkeye didn’t do anything as foolish as releasing the breath she was holding. She just continued to stand there waiting to be dismissed.

Hawkeye was _wasted_ on the likes of Mustang.

*

If Lieutenant Hawkeye had really planned for Olivier to come along, then she might have actually been even more annoying than Mustang.

At least that was what Olivier thought when she discovered that Hawkeye’s idea of a stakeout was to stand very still in a very cramped hiding spot for several hours. It was indeed a very good spot, hidden almost entirely from the main street, while still offering a pretty decent view. The only problem was that the space there was very limited. One person could barely fit—with the two of them together, even small movements felt uncomfortable.

Olivier almost regretted rejecting Lieutenant Hawkeye’s repeated offer to let her do the stakeout alone. Olivier could have potentially found a better place to hide herself, but she couldn’t risk taking her eyes off Lieutenant Hawkeye.

She would be damned if she let herself be tricked by Mustang’s dog.

Which was why she endured the humiliating situation with all the pride of the Armstrong family. On her part, Lieutenant Hawkeye seemed to have no problem with turning into a literal statue. The only signs that she was still alive were very shallow breaths (that Olivier could feel, due to the lack of personal space, rather than hear) and occasional blinking. Other than that, she remained completely still for several hours. 

It was only then that Olivier remembered hearing that Lieutenant Hawkeye specialized in sniper operations during the Ishvalan War.

Fuck snipers and their ability to stay still and silent.

*

It was nearing the sixth hour of their stakeout, when something finally happened. They heard a loud shout of pain, and the two of them immediately abandoned their hiding spot. They quickly determined that somebody had struck a street further off, and ran there without stopping.

As they rounded the corner, aiming a sword and gun respectively, they saw two of their men. One was lying on the ground, bleeding from a slash wound, while the other was trying to stop the bleeding.

The two of them were supposed to patrol the streets acting as bait.

“Where has he gone?” Olivier asked, feeling annoyed at the incompetence of her soldiers. Granted they weren’t _her_ soldiers, just a few people Bradley lent her. But it still annoyed her greatly that they would let themselves get hurt so easily.

The hurt soldier had the decency to raise his hand to point at the nearby street before fainting.

“Let’s go!” Olivier shouted, resuming the chase.

Even if they were just disposable pawns lent to her by Bradley, she would make sure criminal who'd hurt them was repaid in kind. Her pride wouldn’t settle for anything less.

As she ran, she noticed a bulky person entering an abandoned building. She quickly moved there, Lieutenant Hawkeye not far behind.

She slowed down slightly as she entered the building, searching for a trap. The ground level seemed to be entirely deserted so she started to slowly move upstairs.

It was then that she realized that Lieutenant Hawkeye wasn’t with her.

Olivier cursed her own negligence. She should have made Lieutenant Hawkeye go first. Now, Mustang’s dog was off to do who knows what and Olivier couldn’t just go after her, because she had a culprit to catch. 

She ran up the last few stairs. She had to quickly apprehend the criminal, so she could go after Lieutenant Hawkeye and repeatedly stab her for insubordination.

As she moved into one of the rooms, she noticed a huge figure turning in her direction.

“Babe, is that you?” asked a male voice with a strange metallic quality to it.

Olivier didn’t wait, she lunged forward, stabbing the stranger with her sword. The sword went in far too easily.

“Sword? You aren’t my Sweetie?!” The criminal protested, countering with a wide sweep of a cleaver he was holding.

Olivier quickly backstepped, expertly pulling out the sword out of her enemy. There was almost no resistance. Like there was no one inside the armour.

There was no doubt about it. It was an armour with a soul inside of it—the same as Alphonse Elric. Except this one seemed to be missing its right arm and a bit of its helmet.

How annoying. Armours didn’t feel physical pain. Olivier wouldn’t even be able to make up for the frustrations of this night by torturing the culprit.

This case just kept getting more and more irritating.

“You thought you got me! But I’m the one who will slash you up~!” The armour shouted with a disproportionate amount of cheer. It made a few more wide slashes, but Olivier dodged them all. She didn’t attack for now. There was no point in doing so when she didn’t know where she should aim. 

Maybe she should ask.

“Where is your seal? The one binding your soul to this armour?” she asked. Her opponent seemed careless enough to reveal something. It would certainly save her time if she didn’t have to stab every part of the armour.

The armour made a heavy sigh.

“What is with women these days?! When I was still alive you could just attack them randomly and chop them up, no problem! But now that I’ve died they are all fighting back and aren’t afraid of me!” The armour paused in indignation, but then added in a happier tone. “Not that I mind, my heart skips a beat whenever it happens.”

Olivier stabbed the armour where the heart would be, but unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the location of the seal.

“Wow, rude. Here I was opening my heart to you and you just stabbed through it! Not that I have an actual heart...”

Olivier was starting to have a newfound appreciation for the fact that Alphonse didn’t talk too much. A chatterbox suit of armour was simply unbearable.

Olivier made a few more slashes, but none seemed to hit the blood rune. Moreover, the next attack the armour made had much more precision behind it. She tried to widen the distance, but ended up with her back against the wall instead. She must have misjudged how big the room was in the darkness.

Her opponent must have noticed her mistake, because it moved forward to block Olivier’s movement. Its cleaver was raised high in the air. It gleamed ominously as it reflected the dim moonlight filtering through the cracks in the boarded up windows.

“I hope my Sweetie won’t hold it against me, but _I can’t wait to slash you to pieces_,” the armour said, its voice sinister.

Except Olivier had no intentions of getting defeated by some animated armour. As its left hand swung down Olivier moved forward to tackle the armless side of her opponent.

“Whaaaaaa—?”

The armour made a confused noise as it lost its balance and toppled on the side. As it hit the ground, Olivier immediately skewered its arm to the ground with her sword, effectively disarming her opponent.

Olivier huffed in annoyance.

“I will make Lieutenant Hawkeye pay for this,” she said, already planning how to make her pay for insubordination and having to deal with this situation alone.

“Wait? Sweetie sent you here? Why didn’t you say so in the first place?!” the armour asked, completely dropping all the animosity. “How was I supposed to know not to slash you?”

“By _Sweetie_ you mean Lieutenant Hawkeye?” Olivier asked slowly, feeling like she was putting together the world’s most ridiculous mystery together.

“Well, duh. Of course, I mean her! I’ve been trying to get in contact with her for the last two weeks. I cut off a guy's arm so she would know where to find me, but then some stupid copycat had to start going around murdering people! Can you imagine?! Here I am, not murdering people for my Babe, but some other guy gets to have fun! So unfair! Today, I finally managed to find him and even chased him into this building, but he managed to escape through the window,” the armour complained.

Olivier tried to make sense out of that mess of an explanation.

“How should I know you really are affiliated with Lieutenant Hawkeye?” she asked.

“Wait, you mean to say she hasn’t said a word about me?!” the armour asked, clearly dismayed. Olivier leaned forward to look threateningly at the armour. It blinked at her, but then moved its gaze, as if it noticed something. “By the way, if you keep hovering over me like that, that letter will fall out.”

“What letter?” Olivier asked confused.

“The one in your pocket. What other letter would I be talking about?”

It could have been just a trick to divert her attention, but Olivier slowly looked down to discover that there was indeed an envelope sticking out of the pocket in her uniform.

Olivier hadn’t placed any letters there and the only time when someone could have placed anything in her pocket without her noticing would have been during— 

—her stakeout with Hawkeye.

Olivier pulled out the letter and tore off the envelope with more force than necessary. She used the lighter she was carrying to shed enough light so she could see the letter despite the darkness.

_Dear Major General Armstrong,_

_Please forgive me for not speaking to you in person about this matter, as I am currently being constantly monitored by homunculi. The only way for me to relay this message without endangering you was by secretly passing you this letter._

_I believe that one of the people involved in this case is our ally, Barry the Chopper. We lost contact with him during our run in with homunculi and believed him to be dead. However, it seems he has returned and that he tried to use the dismembering incident as a way to contact us without our enemies realizing what was going on._

_He is an armour with a soul bound to it, just like Alphonse. He may be hostile, but if you mention me, he should calm down and follow your instructions to a certain extent. While he is definitely eccentric, he's proved himself to be useful. If you run into him, I would be grateful if you could shelter him, so we may use him during our final attack._

_Sincerely,  
Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye_

Armstrong stared at the letter, then crushed it in her fist, and set the crumpled letter on fire. As its remains landed on the ground, she vindictively stomped on them.

The armour, Barry the Chopper, continued to lie on the ground. 

“Was that letter from my Darling? Did she say anything about me?” he cooed in the most annoying voice an armour could produce.

Olivier considered killing him here and now, but the idea of appearing childish compared to the lieutenant stopped her. Even if Hawkeye never learned the truth, it would mean Olivier lost to her. And Olivier Mira Armstrong would never ever let herself be bested.

Which was why she took a deep breath and then removed the sword.

“Yes, Lieutenant Hawkeye asked me to shelter you. She’s currently being monitored by homunculi, so she can’t contact you directly.”

The armour slowly got up, raising his arm to look at the hole Olivier had made in it.

“I thought that was the case, but man that sucks,” Barry complained. Then he lowered his arm to look straight at Olivier. “But I guess it’s not so bad, because you are pretty hot too. Not enough for me to betray my Sweetie, but—”

This time Olivier hit his helmet with the filt of her sword.

*

Olivier left Barry with instructions as to where he should go and then left the building. Even if the whole setup was a result of Hawkeye’s inability to act, _nothing_ excused the fact that she'd forced Olivier to deal with an armour with the soul of a mass murderer who seemed equally intent on killing her and flirting with her.

Which was why Olivier was surprised to see Lieutenant Hawkeye, waiting for her at the entrance to the building. She thought Lieutenant Hawkeye was smart enough to have already escaped. 

“Where have you been while I was infiltrating the building?” Olivier asked.

“I was securing other escape routes, since I knew Major General would never let anyone bypass her!” Lieutenant Hawkeye replied without hesitation. “I’m proud to say that we managed to capture the culprit after he jumped out of the window.”

Olivier froze at this announcement and then slowly turned her head to see that a few of the soldiers had gathered on the street and seemed to be detaining a well-built man.

“So you didn’t abandon your post, Lieutenant Hawkeye?” Olivier said slowly, because everything was lining up far too well in the lieutenant’s favour.

“Of course not, I knew Major General Armstrong would easily take care of a single opponent, so instead I focused on making sure that the culprit couldn’t escape. Were my decisions wrong?”

She really wanted to choke the lieutenant right here and now for forcing Olivier to affirm her actions. And the worst part of all was that Olivier did have to agree with her. Otherwise, she would have to admit she needed the help of a subordinate to dispatch one measly criminal and dismiss Lieutenant Hawkeye’s decisions which resulted in capturing the culprit.

She would be the laughing stock of all of Central if she tried to penalize Hawkeye in this situation.

Olivier ground her teeth before muttering.

“You did well, Lieutenant Hawkeye.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Major General Armstrong,” she replied. The fact that there was no smugness in her voice just made the whole thing even more unbearable. If she gloated, Olivier could at least find some fault with her, but instead she had been beaten fair and square.

It was the worst.

“Thank you for working with me, Major General Armstrong, your help has been most invaluable. I will finish the clean up, so you don’t have to worry about it,” Lieutenant Hawkeye said, adding salt to the wound. They both knew Olivier had, in fact, done nothing to resolve the incident. Olivier’s fist tightened around the hilt of her sword.

She thought there wasn’t a person in Central more infuriating than Mustang, but as it turned out, birds of a feather do flock together. Lieutenant Hawkeye was a menace. An over competent menace who'd managed to make her lovesick murderous armour Olivier’s problem.

As Olivier returned home, deciding that leaving all the paperwork to Lieutenant Hawkeye was only fair, she realized that maybe there was a benefit to this situation.

After all, once they removed Bradley and homunculi, crushing both Mustang and Hawkeye would now bring Olivier even more satisfaction. Let them enjoy their small victory while they could. Olivier would get the last laugh.

But only once she had gotten rid of that damn suit of talkative armour.


End file.
